Found this lovely bit today! Check it out.
13 things your nanny wont tell you
#1- yes! It is a profession. An actual job. For those who think we just sit around and watch the kids run rampant- try again. Also remember we are not just the "help", we are doing this as a profession and MOST of us like our jobs!
#2- yes. While we like to be included as a part of the family- we are doing this as a job. While we love your kids all day- some of us have families waiting at home, or other things that we need to do for our lives. We love you and your children however we like parents need their time too.
#3-oh my goodness! This is huge. I personally have never been only been in one place that was filthy and thankfully only there for 2 weeks. However, if I do your dishes and or the kids wash it is because it is easier for me to function during the day but also I dont mind helping you out. But do not expect me to be the house cleaner. My sole priority is the kids, and if the dishes dont get done before you get home, look at your kids and see if they are happy. If they are then that is better than any soapy sponge.
#4- Live in nannies most absolutely need a place to retreat. Just like a parent needs a breather, so does the nanny. And a good night sleep, along with a place to just decompress will make it better for your kids the next day.
#5- boundaries need to be reasonable. I have actually had to put it in my contract for communication because the lack of these skills in society alone will kill a person. But when you dont tell me something is off limits, that includes toys for the kids, art supplies, outdoor items, gardening things, food, etc I am not going to know. And if I am not supposed to use it, dont wig out like a 2 year old having a tantrum. That just makes you look like a jerk and will make me want to leave. Which will leave 3 or more parties in a bind: you without care, me without a job and the most important: the stability of the kid(s). So, just be normal and reasonable, and know that I am a human being too.
#6- Please understand the medical authority is crucial. Just because you sign that paper that sits in the folder stating I have the means of taking them to the hospital in the event of trauma while blowing up your cell phone on the way there.. doesnt mean something is going to happen. Kids get hurt, and sometimes by acting like optimus prime fighting megatron off of the jungle gym, yet I need to have all bases covered to make sure care happens. If it doesnt- then worse things could happen.
#7- it all starts with trust. I have run all the background checks and you are welcomed to also. But then understand I am not a serial killer. I know other nannies have given us good ones a bad name with the horrific scenes on nanny cams, however we are not all like that.
#8- Please please please understand in most of these states we are not considered under labor laws. We doing a job that is not recognized as needing to be protected. But it is a job that deserves respect just like yours does. Like the last sentence says "Help us get fair treatment everywhere. " That includes from those in the household and outside the household.
#9- I cannot stress enough how important it is to understand nannies need a chance to bond with your children to gain their trust. While they are your babies and always will be the apple of your eye, you need to understand we chose you and your family for a reason: we like you, and want your children to gain that perspective of us. And with you in the room, they will automatically run to you for anything, and that will not help us with anything. Also, the authority of the nanny needs to stand when she is working her appointed hours. Try your best to back us up with any discipline or charges, because if you over rule anything we do or say while we are there it just causes the children to disarm our authority.
#10- Yes! Yes! Yes. It is our day off, and that is just it. Do not call me when you decide "oh I want to go shopping with out katie" or "bob called and wants to meet up for drinks after work". I am not a babysitter, I am a nanny which is a profession. When I am not there, you should want to be with your children. If you want to have date night or have a night out- you could ask ahead of time and see if I am willing, but if I tell you no do not get yourself bent out of shape. Call up Molly who just got her ARC babysitter cert from girlscouts and have her come and hang. OR, ask me if I know someone who might want to come hang whom I trust. I wont steer you wrong. Yet, know that I have possibly made plans and that is okay.
#11- That all about me child form.. yeah its imperative. That helps me build trust with you, but also your child. To know their favorite color is blue, to know that they have a lovie at nap time, to know that the detourant of Steve singing the "mail song" will cure a tantrum in nanoseconds is crucial. It is also great to know what things are no go's with your kids. Peanuts=Anaphylactic shock is a good thing to know so that peanut butter cookies are off the list. Or that Suzi is not suppose to have markers because she likes to tattoo herself, or even that the mega lego bin is off limits for 3 days because Johnny decided to play superman off the dogs back. Communication is a huge tool that needs to be utilized.
#12- This is a good thing so I know how to divert and issue if green is not the color of the hour because of Flubber freaking her out over the weekend. I need to know what happens when I am not there to know how to assess situations.
#13- that is right. I love my job. And I am hoping you love me just as much as your kids do. That love can stay professional but compassionate and as much as "human being" as possible.