...don't you forget.....caught in the crowd...it never ends.. -- No Doubt "It My Life"
It is so true. Sometimes you think, does it ever end? No. That is the truth. No. When you are a nanny it never ends. When you go home, from your job normally you leave it behind. You then wake up at 6am and do it again. But as a nanny, you do not just "stop and go home".
Let me just interject something.. "Silence. Silence I say. I am a dinosaur, ya hear me?" --S, 3 years old. (I am thinking achmed the dead terrorist puppet has been introduced in this household. But that doesn't surprise me.. the Nutty W's. )
Digression at its best. I guess I stop some things huh? Either way, back to what I was saying, you dont just go home. You dont just leave your job for the day. If you go to the store with me, somewhere along the way I am going to guarantee you that you will hear a car honking at me, with 4 girls in the back waving feverishly like a they have a bad case of tourettes. I go on facebook and see that another has just had surgery on her finger because she decided to do a triple mount and nailed it just the wrong way. Or while in the store one that is peaking around me from the toy aisle whispering in the loudest but quietest stalker "HEY! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!" . LOL! Or you also get ones that come up to you a a local event while I am talking to a cat adoption place and asks me for money that is a promise to "go to the donation dog or for cotton candy, whatever I decide". But does not just go away. You dont just say bye and forget it for the next 10 hours to just trudge through it the next day.
Mind you the day goes full throttle during the normal 9 hours I am here. From the time 8:45 hits its a never ending until that short bit of null from 1:30 - 2:45. And even then it is making sure projects, snacks, shoes are placed properly for the monsoon to come at the hour of 3. Every job has been different (2 my heart breaks to think of what is happening now) but none have been the same. Some have been 1 child, some have been 4. One benefit, my daughter, she has received the interaction that has had her flourish beyond measure. And the other perks... empathy, lifelong friends, watching kids who are quiet become mindful of their voice, seeing those who are crazy when you show up because they are to old for you- jump out of a window because they are mad but then become your buddy for life. However, I could do without the attitudes and tantrums. My god if the purple shovel with the flowers is that imperative just take it.
But.. I do say. My life.. it is my life. It is something I have chosen.However, I constantly hear...
1."It's not a real job"
2. "you color all day, what is so hard about that"
3. "so you change a few diapers and deal with tantrums"
4. "okay, you didnt get paid this week, but you are just a babysitter, they will get to it"
5. "You babysit, you are not a teacher. I am a teacher, try my job"
Oh boy.. the words I could say to this.
1) it is a real job. I work 9 hours a day making sure that every minute is filled with keeping someone elses cherub entertained and doing "the monkey" for the gazillonth time. I make sure they are fed proper meals consisting of veggies and fruit, along with calcium and protein everyday; ya know fully balanced so that your child thrives at their checkup. I make sure the tears are gone within a nanosecond flat. I make sure that naps are taken care of so when the parents come home they are given their angels instead of hell spawn. I make sure that the house is picked up in proper order to make sure that the potential for burning the house down doesnt show. I make sure that germs are combated so that the incessant nose picking doesnt turn into the flu affecting the masses. I make sure that cookies are not snuck and hoarded in the book bin before nap time.
2) Coloring is not all inclusive in this position. Trust me half the time, that is the LAST thing that is on the minute mind of a kid. If that was all it was, I think I would smack my own head against the wall.
3) Okay. When a kid, let alone anyone has the hershey squirts.. how that for a mental picture? yeah. Didn't think so. The penetration of that smell does not stop harassing your nostrils for days. Not just when that 'genie' takes care of the diaper (btw those things dont work, they are a waste of money). Tantrums, yeah they raise blood pressure. Not something that is welcomed. Funny sometimes, yes. You have to be amused sometimes. But trust me when I say that it gets old really really fast. Because the fact that you cant throw dirt in your sisters face because a facial is due, doesnt give the rights for the nanny to not discipline and in turn be given the apocalypse tantrum.
4) I have dealt with bosses who dont give a crap in the corporate world and same goes for those who are in the nanny world. However, here is where it differs. For some reason we are the 'hired help' or 'domestic help' or 'the go to beyotch' in the nanny realm. Whatever suits your fancy, personally if I had to choose one of those titles, the last would be more of my repertoire. That doesnt mean we are any less than that of the wall street executive. We are still doing a job and require the right and full amount of payment we are not only due but are worth. And when I say worth, that goes for fair pay. There is actually litigation getting ready to happen on behalf of nannies in NYC for being paid less than what minimum wage is today. In the state of MD 7.25/hr is minimum wage. Have I been paid less? yes. But sometimes the demographic comes into play. AND if I like the family, I will take a lower pay until things work out better for them or me, and its better than being with a rotten boss. But does that mean I am lower class? HA you wish. I am one of 5 nannies in the area. NANNY. Not a babysitter. So its slim picking compared to being over run with them in big cities. I do so much more than that of a 16 year old making a couple bucks to go and visit a key house for a knock of dolce gabana.
5) Not a teacher; by state boards no. Because I never took the PRAXIS. I jumped off that ship when I got into the class that was about teaching 30 children to read at once. That was my point where I couldnt go on with that degree. However, that doesnt mean that I am not keeping on the up and up of the newest phonics program. That Disney Juniors coolest project on pirate hats is where it is at. To bring to life the 8 planets in the solar system after last weeks launch. Not to mention that bagukan and pokemon are still rad. Lesson plans, along with the general abc's and 1,2,3's come into play everyday.
I am going towards another profession in about 4 years... but it will still involve what I do, but on a higher level. Will these kids be erased from my life? No. Because I wont forget... This is my life my and has been my profession for the last 9 years. Would I change it and run away for the admin I was in before? Would I trade the diapers and snot rockets for the black slacks and endless coffee? Well, the coffee that is a huge deal breaker.....
Oh yeah.. and the ear bug.. you are welcome. LOL
EAR BUG
Showing posts with label nanny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nanny. Show all posts
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Blessings in disguise
Some days I look back at the first parts of my nanny career. I think about all the children I have been with. I can find a blessing within each one of them. Sometimes it is a blessing of patience but a lot of times, they bless me with their little selfs.
Lets talk about one who was a true blessing to me. I met this little girl back in 2006. I wasn't sure what was entailed as I had never fully be one on one with a child who had a disability. Sure I had worked in a setting where I "helped" with a physically and mentally disabled child, but never one on one by myself for 7 hours a day. I wasnt scared persay- but I was more so curious as to what would come of everything. Would there be communication barriers? Would I have to speak differently? Would I have to do 3 separate routines? (because there was one older, and a infant along with her). Would I even know how to help if the verbal skills were none?
Little did I know that I was about to be taught something, not teach.
For the sake of privacy we will call this little girl flower. Because there are still turds out there in cyberspace who are disgusting (and if I ever find you trolling here, you will have hell to pay) but I digress Flower from the first day let me know that I was the dumb one. I was stupid for even thinking there was a remote possibility for having to do something differently with her. Sure I had to say things more than once, but seriously tell me what kid you DONT have to do that with. The first day I was there, I was instantly told "NOOOOOOOOOOOO"... not "no" but with emphasis on the "O" part when I went to buckle her into her booster seat. This was foreign territory for me- as I was the one to do this, but Flower quickly showed me who was in charge. LOL!
She also taught me to slow down while going full force. What the means is, I dont need to always have the control of fast while diving into something full throttle. Let me explain this. Flower liked to go into Q's room and take all the books off the shelf. And when I say all, I mean ALL. I would pick them up multiple times a day. I am sure that the parents thought I just left them there all day, whereas in reality that right there was a 10,000 pick up game every 10 minutes. No joke. But, I would try and put them back smallest to biggest, and or color coded for easier access for the other two. Why did I try? Flower made it apparent that was not the way things were to be handled. The best way to do clean up was to get the job done. Not to organize. There is no organization in life. But there are ways to live it with minimal organization. Not to say the books were not a thorn in my side, but she did let me see the wonder of the actual stories through the pictures, not just the words. She would surround herself with these books, pick them up, flip the book from hand to hand studying the cover, and then go through the book with detail. Every color, shape, animal, person, line meant something. It meant something to her and it started meaning something to me. I could see the depth and how it spoke to her. I could see the colors and how they pulled her world together. Through those almond shaped eyes, she saw something magical.
She also taught me that opinions matter, no matter how young you are. She was always there to give hers, whether it was wanted at that time or not. While it might have not been savored at that moment, it was thought provoking. Maybe not always through exact words of her swollen tongue, but it intended something. She spoke to me in ways that I was not used to. Through the use of her hands. Yes, sign language. The use of the hands are amazing. She taught me the worth of a word unspoken but gestured. She was the one who would sneak candy when I wasnt looking to coat that puffy tounge with sugar. She was my sweetness in life.
She taught me what love was. Unconditional love. She taught me that through the frustration, I am always going to be given a hug, a bright smile that makes the eyes disappear into the face. That through the "Nooooooooooo's" (the extra o's are imperative) and the stubborn as a mule attitude about doing things her way, not mine are welcomed. And that through the light of the soul, it can be born into what society breeds as normal.
Today she is thriving- in kindergarten. She is talking great. She is doing awesome in her school. When I did get to see her last she said my name with such clarity I almost cried. She sat on my lap the entire time she was with me and just stroked my face and said my name. It melted my heart. I had missed her. The other two were strange around me for a bit (and the fact that E was a baby when they left and now she was full throttle saying my name and having full conversations with me just threw me for a loop) but they warmed up quicly.
I have seen Flower that 1 time in person since they have moved away. I see thousands of pictures of Flower and her brother and sister, Q and E. And its not that I love Q and E any less, however I had to share the joy of what I was given. That is sometimes the brutal part of this job. They go away. You lose the people you care about. The family as a whole. The parents who are great. the kids who rock your world. However you can hope you leave a mark. But what really happens is that they leave a mark on you.
Flower does not have a disability. She has an ability to show people who they really are. To bring out the real 'you'. To show that the fears or the questions you have really are easier than you make them. That it might be the hardest thing in the world to let go of your ways...and see that others are actually doing it right.
Lets talk about one who was a true blessing to me. I met this little girl back in 2006. I wasn't sure what was entailed as I had never fully be one on one with a child who had a disability. Sure I had worked in a setting where I "helped" with a physically and mentally disabled child, but never one on one by myself for 7 hours a day. I wasnt scared persay- but I was more so curious as to what would come of everything. Would there be communication barriers? Would I have to speak differently? Would I have to do 3 separate routines? (because there was one older, and a infant along with her). Would I even know how to help if the verbal skills were none?
Little did I know that I was about to be taught something, not teach.
For the sake of privacy we will call this little girl flower. Because there are still turds out there in cyberspace who are disgusting (and if I ever find you trolling here, you will have hell to pay) but I digress Flower from the first day let me know that I was the dumb one. I was stupid for even thinking there was a remote possibility for having to do something differently with her. Sure I had to say things more than once, but seriously tell me what kid you DONT have to do that with. The first day I was there, I was instantly told "NOOOOOOOOOOOO"... not "no" but with emphasis on the "O" part when I went to buckle her into her booster seat. This was foreign territory for me- as I was the one to do this, but Flower quickly showed me who was in charge. LOL!
She also taught me to slow down while going full force. What the means is, I dont need to always have the control of fast while diving into something full throttle. Let me explain this. Flower liked to go into Q's room and take all the books off the shelf. And when I say all, I mean ALL. I would pick them up multiple times a day. I am sure that the parents thought I just left them there all day, whereas in reality that right there was a 10,000 pick up game every 10 minutes. No joke. But, I would try and put them back smallest to biggest, and or color coded for easier access for the other two. Why did I try? Flower made it apparent that was not the way things were to be handled. The best way to do clean up was to get the job done. Not to organize. There is no organization in life. But there are ways to live it with minimal organization. Not to say the books were not a thorn in my side, but she did let me see the wonder of the actual stories through the pictures, not just the words. She would surround herself with these books, pick them up, flip the book from hand to hand studying the cover, and then go through the book with detail. Every color, shape, animal, person, line meant something. It meant something to her and it started meaning something to me. I could see the depth and how it spoke to her. I could see the colors and how they pulled her world together. Through those almond shaped eyes, she saw something magical.
She also taught me that opinions matter, no matter how young you are. She was always there to give hers, whether it was wanted at that time or not. While it might have not been savored at that moment, it was thought provoking. Maybe not always through exact words of her swollen tongue, but it intended something. She spoke to me in ways that I was not used to. Through the use of her hands. Yes, sign language. The use of the hands are amazing. She taught me the worth of a word unspoken but gestured. She was the one who would sneak candy when I wasnt looking to coat that puffy tounge with sugar. She was my sweetness in life.
She taught me what love was. Unconditional love. She taught me that through the frustration, I am always going to be given a hug, a bright smile that makes the eyes disappear into the face. That through the "Nooooooooooo's" (the extra o's are imperative) and the stubborn as a mule attitude about doing things her way, not mine are welcomed. And that through the light of the soul, it can be born into what society breeds as normal.
Today she is thriving- in kindergarten. She is talking great. She is doing awesome in her school. When I did get to see her last she said my name with such clarity I almost cried. She sat on my lap the entire time she was with me and just stroked my face and said my name. It melted my heart. I had missed her. The other two were strange around me for a bit (and the fact that E was a baby when they left and now she was full throttle saying my name and having full conversations with me just threw me for a loop) but they warmed up quicly.
I have seen Flower that 1 time in person since they have moved away. I see thousands of pictures of Flower and her brother and sister, Q and E. And its not that I love Q and E any less, however I had to share the joy of what I was given. That is sometimes the brutal part of this job. They go away. You lose the people you care about. The family as a whole. The parents who are great. the kids who rock your world. However you can hope you leave a mark. But what really happens is that they leave a mark on you.
Flower does not have a disability. She has an ability to show people who they really are. To bring out the real 'you'. To show that the fears or the questions you have really are easier than you make them. That it might be the hardest thing in the world to let go of your ways...and see that others are actually doing it right.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Just ask...
There are just certain aspects to the job that are included with being a nanny. Such as the general care and attendance to the children- but along with that comes anything involved with the children. This includes, but is not limited to cleaning any messes or finding the covert fingerprints in various places. To keeping their room tidy, making sure there are no hidden surprises in toilets and even doing the children's laundry. If it involves the child, then the nanny does it. However, anything over and above that is not, as a general rule the nannies responsibility. Yet, I digress, it is up to the nanny if she is willing to help with other things in the household if she feels inclined.
Where am I going with this? Well, I guess I am going to the point of it is not to be assumed that the nanny will run the household for you other than to make sure your angels do not burn down the house. However, if there is something you would like the nanny to keep up on- or do for you, etc etc you need to communicate. Communication is the key that opens doors. You cannot assume one might know what ESP's you are sending if you dont make it apparent.
Far to many times, I had run in's happen like this. Some quickly squelched when the point of contract came up, others not so much. Some had to be spelled out as to say "You didnt A-S-K, so I didnt K-N-O-W"... dont get me started on Medusa. She would just contemplate that it was a known fact no matter how many times you spouted common sense as a word in the dictionary. But, I digress, this sparked a point when I was reading this article Communicating with your nanny
The passive-aggressive nature with your nanny is just crazy. Out of all people you should want to be on a open basis rather than one that is a closed door. The majority of my families adapted to my policy very quickly. I even had one that would regularly email me every week with blessings and thanks in turn asking what she could do to make sure to reiterate any lessons or tactics to her kids when I wasnt there. Clearly this is one that was choosing to work with me, than holding "I am mama hear me roar". (trust me, it is not a competition, you are always mama and I dont hold that place.. that is another blog though).
Far to many times, I have had mis-communication build because there has not been the revolving door of "hey so yeah...". Luckily those times were not with different families (only 2). In the article a counselor says that there have been parents who "get cramps having to think about asking their nanny to unload the dishwasher". My question is why? There is nothing wrong- as long as I am not running around like a chicken- or roll playing the farmer in the dell for that matter, that when little Susie is down for her afternoon slumber that I cannot put the dishes in or out of dishwasher to help you save some time to spend with your baby when you get home. Because generally when parents are away from their children- they want to come home to them- and I most certainly would rather you get that time with your child(ren), than having to say "Mummy has to unload the racks before we cuddle". No, cuddle is more important than your set of corning wear.
Yet, I must digress.....
...here is where the communication part comes in. If it doesnt get done- you cannot flip your lid and have the snakes come flying out of your roots. Stop and say "hey, what was your day like or wow you and Jack must've been busy" and then see what comes of it, instead of assuming that your Corelle didnt get unloaded. I have done other things for my families that were above and beyond the natural duties. All just because they said hey- if you have time I am overwhelmed and I need help. K. So be it. I have had no problems doing the wash- throwing towels and sheets in, or running the vacuum, walking the dogs, etc etc. All because I was just simply asked. And truly with regard to how I would feel about it- not demanded or assumed.
The simple truth as stated in the article: Ask.
It might feel funny. But what is worse is the funny feeling I get that you are uncomfortable about something and or want to ask something but don't and then it becomes awkward. Or whatever the feeling is.. then the passive-aggressive starts and its just one big pile of poo that doesn't need to be scooped up if it doesn't happen in the first place. So.. in the right of saying "You don't know until you ask"... adopt that. Your nanny is someone who can obviously be trusted. While I am not your best friend- I don't mind helping out.
.
anyway..read the article and see that I am trying to let you know it is okay to say "hey..."Now of course.. underwear... that is a different story....
Where am I going with this? Well, I guess I am going to the point of it is not to be assumed that the nanny will run the household for you other than to make sure your angels do not burn down the house. However, if there is something you would like the nanny to keep up on- or do for you, etc etc you need to communicate. Communication is the key that opens doors. You cannot assume one might know what ESP's you are sending if you dont make it apparent.
Far to many times, I had run in's happen like this. Some quickly squelched when the point of contract came up, others not so much. Some had to be spelled out as to say "You didnt A-S-K, so I didnt K-N-O-W"... dont get me started on Medusa. She would just contemplate that it was a known fact no matter how many times you spouted common sense as a word in the dictionary. But, I digress, this sparked a point when I was reading this article Communicating with your nanny
The passive-aggressive nature with your nanny is just crazy. Out of all people you should want to be on a open basis rather than one that is a closed door. The majority of my families adapted to my policy very quickly. I even had one that would regularly email me every week with blessings and thanks in turn asking what she could do to make sure to reiterate any lessons or tactics to her kids when I wasnt there. Clearly this is one that was choosing to work with me, than holding "I am mama hear me roar". (trust me, it is not a competition, you are always mama and I dont hold that place.. that is another blog though).
Far to many times, I have had mis-communication build because there has not been the revolving door of "hey so yeah...". Luckily those times were not with different families (only 2). In the article a counselor says that there have been parents who "get cramps having to think about asking their nanny to unload the dishwasher". My question is why? There is nothing wrong- as long as I am not running around like a chicken- or roll playing the farmer in the dell for that matter, that when little Susie is down for her afternoon slumber that I cannot put the dishes in or out of dishwasher to help you save some time to spend with your baby when you get home. Because generally when parents are away from their children- they want to come home to them- and I most certainly would rather you get that time with your child(ren), than having to say "Mummy has to unload the racks before we cuddle". No, cuddle is more important than your set of corning wear.
Yet, I must digress.....
...here is where the communication part comes in. If it doesnt get done- you cannot flip your lid and have the snakes come flying out of your roots. Stop and say "hey, what was your day like or wow you and Jack must've been busy" and then see what comes of it, instead of assuming that your Corelle didnt get unloaded. I have done other things for my families that were above and beyond the natural duties. All just because they said hey- if you have time I am overwhelmed and I need help. K. So be it. I have had no problems doing the wash- throwing towels and sheets in, or running the vacuum, walking the dogs, etc etc. All because I was just simply asked. And truly with regard to how I would feel about it- not demanded or assumed.
The simple truth as stated in the article: Ask.
It might feel funny. But what is worse is the funny feeling I get that you are uncomfortable about something and or want to ask something but don't and then it becomes awkward. Or whatever the feeling is.. then the passive-aggressive starts and its just one big pile of poo that doesn't need to be scooped up if it doesn't happen in the first place. So.. in the right of saying "You don't know until you ask"... adopt that. Your nanny is someone who can obviously be trusted. While I am not your best friend- I don't mind helping out.
.
anyway..read the article and see that I am trying to let you know it is okay to say "hey..."Now of course.. underwear... that is a different story....
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