Friday, January 21, 2011

Just ask...

There are just certain aspects to the job that are included with being a nanny. Such as the general care and attendance to the children- but along with that comes anything involved with the children. This includes, but is not limited to cleaning any messes or finding the covert fingerprints in various places. To keeping their room tidy, making sure there are no hidden surprises in toilets and even doing the children's laundry. If it involves the child, then the nanny does it. However, anything over and above that is not, as a general rule the nannies responsibility. Yet, I digress, it is up to the nanny if she is willing to help with other things in the household if she feels inclined.

Where am I going with this? Well, I guess I am going to the point of it is not to be assumed that the nanny will run the household for you other than to make sure your angels do not burn down the house. However, if there is something you would like the nanny to keep up on- or do for you, etc etc you need to communicate. Communication is the key that opens doors. You cannot assume one might know what ESP's you are sending if you dont make it apparent.

Far to many times, I had run in's happen like this. Some quickly squelched when the point of contract came up, others not so much. Some had to be spelled out as to say "You didnt A-S-K, so I didnt K-N-O-W"... dont get me started on Medusa. She would just contemplate that it was a known fact no matter how many times you spouted common sense as a word in the dictionary. But, I digress, this sparked a point when I was reading this article Communicating with your nanny

The passive-aggressive nature with your nanny is just crazy. Out of all people you should want to be on a open basis rather than one that is a closed door. The majority of my families adapted to my policy very quickly. I even had one that would regularly email me every week with blessings and thanks in turn asking what she could do to make sure to reiterate any lessons or tactics to her kids when I wasnt there. Clearly this is one that was choosing to work with me, than holding "I am mama hear me roar". (trust me, it is not a competition, you are always mama and I dont hold that place.. that is another blog though).

Far to many times, I have had mis-communication build because there has not been the revolving door of "hey so yeah...". Luckily those times were not with different families (only 2).  In the article a counselor says that there have been parents who "get cramps having to think about asking their nanny to unload the dishwasher". My question is why? There is nothing wrong- as long as I am not running around like a chicken- or roll playing the farmer in the dell for that matter, that when little Susie is down for her afternoon slumber that I cannot put the dishes in or out of dishwasher to help you save some time to spend with your baby when you get home. Because generally when parents are away from their children- they want to come home to them- and I most certainly would rather you get that time with your child(ren), than having to say "Mummy has to unload the racks before we cuddle". No, cuddle is more important than your set of corning wear.

Yet, I must digress..... is where the communication part comes in. If it doesnt get done- you cannot flip your lid and have the snakes come flying out of your roots. Stop and say "hey, what was your day like or wow you and Jack must've been busy" and then see what comes of it, instead of assuming that your Corelle didnt get unloaded.  I have done other things for my families that were above and beyond the natural duties. All just because they said hey- if you have time I am overwhelmed and I need help. K. So be it. I have had no problems doing the wash- throwing towels and sheets in, or running the vacuum, walking the dogs, etc etc. All because I was just simply asked. And truly with regard to how I would feel about it- not demanded or assumed.

The simple truth as stated in the article: Ask.

It might feel funny. But what is worse is the funny feeling I get that you are uncomfortable about something and or want to ask something but don't and then it becomes awkward. Or whatever the feeling is.. then the passive-aggressive starts and its just one big pile of poo that doesn't need to be scooped up if it doesn't happen in the first place. So.. in the right of saying "You don't know until you ask"... adopt that. Your nanny is someone who can obviously be trusted. While I am not your best friend- I don't mind helping out.
 . the article and see that I am trying to let you know it is okay to say "hey..."Now of course.. underwear... that is a different story....

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